Monday, January 9, 2012
"Would Mormon number 2, please stand up."
Newt Gingrich is far from the only candidate in the current GOP traveling circus who has to pay extra for all the baggage. As the New Hampshire primary approaches, Mitt Romney's ability to take all possible positions on all possible topics has finally begun to drag his candidacy down. Quizzed on his position on gay & lesbian rights -- remember, he's running for the top spot in the "God, Guns 'n Gays" party -- Romney's response is simply incredible:
"As you know, I don't discriminate. And in the appointments that I made -- when I was governor of Massachusetts, a member of my cabinet was gay. I appointed people to the bench, regardless of their sexual orientation. Made it very clear that, in my view, we should not discriminate in hiring policies, in legal policies.
At the same time, from the very beginning, in 1994, I said to the gay community, 'I do not favor same-sex marriage.' I oppose same-sex marriage. And that has been my, my view. But, but if, if people are looking for someone who -- who will discriminate against gays or will in any way -- try and suggest that people, that, that have different sexual orientation don't have full rights in this country, they won't find that in me."
The result of Romney's lack of character has been the parade of "Not Mitts" that started with Herman Cain, saw the improbable rise of Newt Gingrich, the corresponding surge of Ron Paul, the come-from-behind arrival of Rick Santorum, all leading to the current rise of Jon Huntsman.
Let's be clear on a few things. No one was more surprised by Newt Gingrich's momentary lead in the polls than Newt Gingrich, who, like Herman Cain, thought he was on a book tour and was never actually running for the nomination. His surge, just like the recent surge of Rick Santorum, is the result of the republican voter gag reflex kicking in at the thought of swallowing Mitt Romney as the nominee.
Santorum, quite possibly the most mean-spirited human being ever to aspire to the presidency, never stood a chance outside the congregation of the First Church of Christ Who Really Really Hates Fags. And Ron Paul is a Libertarian, not a Republican, even if libertarians are really little more than republicans who like to smoke dope.
There were three reasons Rick Perry's chances plummeted once he entered the debates: It turns out he has the intelligence of a broken table lamp; he was a constant reminder of He Who Shall Not Be Named (the last Texas Governor to occupy the White House and almost bring about the end of the United States); and I forget the third one.
Now stop and consider this for a moment: In the most appallingly radical right wing primary season ever mounted in US politics, where the mention of uninsured people dying from untreated illnesses and other people dying from having toxic drugs pumped into their veins by state officials drew thunderous applause, the final result may well be the rise of the one candidate who both worked for and most closely resembles the most "authentic conservative" in the 2012 race -- Barack Obama.
If there isn't an ancient Chinese curse that goes, "May you live in ironic times" there really should be.
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