Republicans speak with a unified voice....

The theme song of the 2009 GOP

Having selected talk radio loon, Rush Limbaugh to lead their party into the sunset of American politics, I can't help thinking that if they required all members to wear painted-on black mustaches the effect would be better all around.

I'm sure I'd tune in more often to their antics if they did.

Now, everybody sing.

I'd also suggest a Snidely Whiplash mustache, top hat, cape and bullwhip be provided for Indiana Congressman, Mike Pence. Part of his job duties should include visiting families whose homes have been foreclosed, sneering at a cowering mother with small children....

"You must pay the mortgage!"

"We can't pay the mortgage!"

"You must pay the mortgage!"

"We can't pay the mortgage!"

And so on.

Limbaugh's rise to power, by the way, is a Godsend. So long as he (and I almost capitalized the "H") is firing up the republican "base" no moderate republican who might stand a chance at winning a national election will ever survive the republican primaries.

The GOP is now like that guy way out in the Australian bush who has just been bitten by a viper and knows that unless he takes his machete and severs his own arm immediately he has no chance of survival.

Or maybe the GOP is like that guy who was rock climbing in some remote region and his arm got pinned under a boulder and he had to use his pen knife to cut his arm off at the elbow in order to survive.

Anyway... the arm is the republican base; those voters who think the GOP is not conservative enough; those voters who want a flag burning amendment and want a wall built to keep the damn Mexicans out and want an amendment to punish the gay couple who were holding hands in that movie and made them feel all weird and confused.

It is such a perfect reversal of fortunes.

Just a few months ago, and for eight long years, we were resigned to blogging and making jokes on late-night television while the W 'n' Dick Show invaded foreign countries, looted the treasury, named children for the oil companies, appointed retarded people with anger management issues to the bench and just whizzed all over the Constitution in the process. Now, a scant few months later, they have nothing but blogs and talk radio, while we get to transform the ashes of the neo-con revolution into a new vision of democratic socialism.

I can barely contain myself.